Often when I’ve asked my daughter to do something she doesn’t want to do, she answers me with that less than courteous tone most parents are familiar with. It’s something like, “Okaaay,” instead of, “Okay.” On my good days (when I’m not inclined to join in her sarcasm), I say, “Try that again.” She then answers me with a more respectful tone. I know her feelings don’t change just because I have her change her tone, but I am teaching her a couple of lessons with this method.

1. I’m her Mom and I deserve respect. Even if she doesn’t agree with me, she can be respectful in the way she speaks to me. I’m much more open to her opinion when she respectfully disagrees. We are usually able to create a compromise which makes us both happy when we talk things over in this manner.
2. We will perform what we practice. A young, but wise, choir director once chastised us for glossing over a particularly difficult portion of our Christmas cantata when we practiced. He said, “If we do it that way during the practice, we’ll do it that way during the performance.” The same principle applies to respectful communication. We’re not always going to agree with other people, but if we practice respectful communication at home, we’ll be more successful communicators outside the home. This will translate to some pretty awesome business and ministry skills later in life.

My daughter’s personality is the mirror’s reflection of my own actions and attitudes. That reflection is sometimes painful, as I see my faults and weaknesses mimicked in her. We all have areas that take a little extra effort to get right. I know I do, and sometimes God has to say to me, “Try that again.” That’s when I have an opportunity to practice what I preach. It’s also an opportunity to better myself as I strive to become the person He desires me to be.

Keeping it real,

Tags: attitudes, ministry skills, Parenting, respectful communication

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